


Hold the Line (Love Isn't Always On Time)

by ZephyrOnTheWind



Series: They Were Neighbors [3]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, I don't even know why I use that tag anymore it's fallen to the wayside hardcore, Long-Distance Relationship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-07-29 20:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16271609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrOnTheWind/pseuds/ZephyrOnTheWind
Summary: It took so long to realize you could love each other freely, and it's already being taken away





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> **The Next Day**

Julian rolls away from you, arm searching for the phone ringing on his nightstand. In the pre-dawn darkness his hand hits Dragon, who jumps off the stand. He hears his phone clatter to the floor and swears under his breath, getting out from under the covers to search. He finally grabs it from against the wall and picks up the call, keeping his voice down as he paces.

"No, it's fine, why are you calling doctor? Wait, my placement is going to be where? But that's so far away! And I just-" Julian pauses, looking back to the bed as he listens. "The only other option is across the country? What happened to the positions in town? I thought-" He hangs his head, then sighs, running his free hand through his hair. "No I- I'll take it. Is there housing, or will I-? And I'll need to arrange that by? Okay thanks. Yeah, thanks."

Julian pulls the phone away from his ear, the screen illuminating his face. A tear rolls down his cheek. He goes to throw the phone through the bed, and catches himself when he sees you still sleeping there. He sets the phone back on the nightstand and gets back under the covers. He holds you tight, hoping the wet spots between your shoulders don't wake you.


	2. We Need To Talk

"Fuck work," you mutter under your breath as you climb the stairs in your building. "Fuck customers," you continue as you reach your floor. "Fuck capitalism," as you make your way down the hall. "Fuck you," to Julian's door before you enter your own apartment. You slam the door behind you, but don't walk further. Your bag dully thuds to the floor. You slide down the inside of the door, tucking your head in your arms.

"Fuck me." It echoes in the apartment.

Dragon presses her head against your shins, purring and rubbing along you. She worms her way into your lap, staring up at you before headbutting your nose and ramping up the purrs. You unfurl yourself, giving in to dragons demand for attention while your mind wanders.

 

_"Listen. We, uh, we really need to talk."_

 

You shake your head, trying to not let yourself think about what had happened three days ago.

 

_"I've done the calculations. Thought of every possibility. Run through the scenario in my head over and over."_

 

You smack the side of your head repeatedly, but the memory won't stop playing out, even when you start to see stars through your tears.

 

_"But I just don't see how else this can go."_

 

Dragon screams at you, putting her head between your hand and temple.

 

_There's only one way I can see this whole thing playing out. And it's not a happy ending, trust me._

 

You stop your hand, then go back to petting Dragon. She stops screaming at you and starts purring again. You sit in your entryway a while longer, until the frustration and pain melt away, leaving only the confusion and anger at a conversation you didn't say a word in. Finally, you stand up. You turn around, staring through your door.

 

_"I'm dangerous."_

_"I'll hurt you."_

_"You deserve better."_

 

"Blah blah blah," you mutter under your breath. "What does any of that have to do with _us,_ drama queen?" You open your door, storm across the hall, and unlock his door.

"Can we just go over what the fuck you did a few days ago because I'm still confused as to what the fuck you were thinking."

Julian jumps at the sound of your voice. He looks at you over the top of his laptop, red-rimmed eyes widening once his brain realizes what he's seeing. Malak caws at you from Julian's shoulder, squawking at him when he tries to shoo the bird away. He sighs, running a hand through his unkempt hair.

"That's a strange question to ask when I'm breaking up with you, isn't it?"

His voice creaks and rasps from his throat. You stare him down, feeling the tear tracks on your cheeks beginning to dry. He shifts under your gaze, looking away.

"Not that it's really a breakup. We never- we never had anything to start with. Just... a night or two stolen from time."

"See, that's the first point I would like to disagree with." You stride into his apartment, closing the distance between the two of you. "This isn't 'dating isn't working out, lets break it off but stay friends'. You pulled a 'I'm gonna kill this dead before it starts, never talk to me again, take the cat cause I can't afford it'. Which doesn't sound like what you had wanted the day before."

Julian keeps his gaze firmly on the floor. "It doesn't matter what I want."

"No, it kinda does. I mean, that's what relationships are about. What people want. Whether they want the same things or not. and it seemed pretty clear we wanted the same things. I want to be with you."

"And I want to be with you. I can't stop thinking about you. Even when you're not here. But you're still going to be here. And I'm not."

You want to shout and scream, but your voice is just tired and confused. "What does that even mean, Julian? Why won't you just tell me what's going on?" You sit down next to him, waiting for an answer.

He closes his laptop, and drags his gaze to you. The bags under his eyes are darker than usual, his eyes bloodshot.

"My placement is four hours away and starts in less than two weeks."

You feel the air get knocked out of you.

"They called me that morning about it, it was the only one left."

Malak caws again, then flies to his nest, leaving the two of you alone.

" . . . I don't. Want to leave, that is."

"But," you struggle to get breath back in your lungs. "But it's your job, your dream, of course you're going to go."

Julian smiles, with a bitter twist to his mouth. "That's the problem. I'm torn in two, my dear. My brain is telling me to leave, but my heart wants to hold me back."

You pull your legs up and hug them to your chest, resting your chin on your knees. "Isn't there some way we can work around this? We only just figured this out, we deserve a chance to try."

He turns in his spot to face you better."I spent that whole morning trying, but it boils down to whether or not we could survive long distance, and we just started."

"But we shouldn't just give up, right? I mean, we've known each other for over a year now, and we both want this, right?"

Julian reaches out and rests his hand on yours. "Being with you is the first thing I've wanted for myself in a long time."

You shift your hand, lacing your fingers with his. "So I guess we're doing this."

"Yeah."

"Am I still keeping Dragon?"

"36 hour shifts."

"Yeah I'm keeping Dragon."


	3. No Options

Julian hangs up his phone and drops it on his lap. "They won't have anything open in time." He leans forward, scrolling through the rental website for a moment, then closes his laptop. "That was the last complex in my price range, there's nothing left."

You turn your phone towards him. "There's this basement apartment. It's close to where you'll be working, and definitely in your range."

He turns to look at the screen, burying his nose in your hair. You have a listing pulled up that only has the map marker and text. "It's so sketchy though. It doesn't even have any pics. Definitely my price, at least." Julian dials the number and lets it ring.

"Allo?" An older woman answers the phone, and Julian stands up to start pacing.

"Oh, yes, hello, I was calling about, the uh, basement apartment?"

"What about it?"

Julian stops in his tracks, shaking his head slightly at the abruptness of the question. "Oh, right, um, I'll be moving into town soon and was wondering if it was still for rent."

"Da."

He turns and stares out the window. "Good, um, so, is there a time I could come see it?"

"Saturday, 2pm"

Julian looks to you, shrugging. "I can make that, uh, work. Thanks for, um, talking to me?"

The old lady hangs up. He walks back to the couch and sits down next to you.

"Well, I guess I'll be out of town this weekend."

He feels your head press into his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around you, burying his head back into your hair. "It's not like I have any other options, right?"

~~~

Julian slowly drives around, gripping the paper with the address on it in one hand as he peers out the window to read the house numbers on the mailboxes. He finally sees the address, and pulls into the driveway. He sits in the car for a moment to try and convince himself everything will be okay, it's all fine, if she makes him into soup at least you know where he went.

There's a knock on the window, and Julian squeals.

"Are you here to see the apartment?"

An older woman stands next to his car, short and squat. She flashes a gap tooth smile at him, before stepping away from the door. Julian unfolds himself from his front seat, and she looks up at him, only to smile again.

"Oh this will be perfect. Follow me."

She leads Julian down the driveway, a wooden spoon swaying from her hip as she goes down the hill. "You park in the driveway, I park on the road. You have your own key, but we share laundry room. This is your door, use the back yard if you want." She spins around and faces Julian, pointing her spoon at him. "Do not touch my garden up front." He stares down the point of the spoon and gulps. She spins back around, opening the door.

"This is your living room and kitchen, you can use my internet. Door by the kitchen is bathroom, door in the kitchen is to the laundry." Julian wanders over, looking into the bathroom. He's surprised at how roomy the bathroom is, then takes a closer look at the shower.

"I think this is the first time I've had to look up at a showerhead in over ten years."

"See? Perfect. Moving on." Julian turns away from the bathroom to follow the woman.

"Last door is bedroom." He walks inside, surprised at the amount of light in the room for it being in a basement. It's definitely bigger than his current room, and this thought makes him walk over to the closet. One side of the closet is sloped, probably from the stairs leading to the laundry, but the rest of the walk-in is perfectly fine. He nods, and turns to the woman.

"All of this is perfect."

"I am glad you agree." She walks out of the room and heads for the door. "So now we talk business?"

Julian follower her out of the unit and back up the driveway. The two of them sit down on the front porch, and he takes a moment to look out over her garden as she organizes some papers.

"So this is the rent, including utilities. Do you have pets?"

Julian drags his attention away from the blooms. "I have a bird, I tried leaving him with a friend but he's too attached."

"Does he poop all over the place?"

"No, just in one place. Are most birds that messy?"

"No pet rent then. And you said you're moving alone?"

Julian looks to the garden briefly. "That's right."

"Only one key then." She bends over the papers and writes something, then pushes the papers toward Julian, handing him the pen.

He takes the pen, then looks at the paper. "Wait, you actually want me to rent it?"

"Everyone complains about shower head, complains about laundry, complains about slanty bit of closet. You, bird boy, are a perfect fit. You even like my garden."

Julian sniffles, hastily grinding the heel of his hand into his eye. "I- thank you. This has all just been so- its so hard and this- thank you."

"No trouble, bird boy."

"Julian." He bends over the papers and signs, pushing them back towards the woman.

"Mazelinka. I'll put these away and get you some tea."


	4. Moving Day

"Maybe I should just light it all on fire. I can sleep on the floor at the new place, right?"

Julian walks laps around his apartment, staring at the half-packed boxes scattered around the place. You look up from the box you're currently working on.

"And live without your product? Not a chance."

"The bathroom!!!" Julian scoops up a mostly empty box and bolts out of the room.

You finish fitting the plates and dishes into the box, then tape it up and write kitchen on it. You move on to one of the boxes on the floor, tucking in the knickknacks and shelf pieces, before taping it up and writing what it is on it. Julian dashes in, grabs another box, and takes off again.

You stop by the bathroom, and aren't even surprised at the overflowing boxes of shampoo and conditioner and body glitter and makeup. He turns and looks up at you from the floor "Why can't I afford a U-haul? I should just leave this all here for the next tenant."

"What, and leave all your clothes for them to wear?"

"Shit." He scrambles up from the floor, throwing himself at the doorway. You lean to the side, clearing the way as he hurtles into the bedroom. You kneel down, closing the boxes as best you can before writing bathroom on them. He actually got everything packed up, though, nothing left in the shower or on the counter.

You move the boxes out to the living room piling them up with the rest, then head back to the bedroom. Julian has dumped all his clothes onto the empty mattress and is digging through them, the boxes and suitcases still empty.

"Should I take all of it? I forgot I own half of this. But the memories! But the space. I could just buy new clothes! But the money. Maybe only my scrubs. But I don't want to buy groceries in scrubs! Should I just burn it all? That would be wasteful."

You press a hand to his back and he stops. Julian turns to you, still bent over the bed, and you kiss him on the cheek. "I'll pack the clothes if you carry boxes to your car."

He cups your face with his hands, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'd be lost without you, dearest."

The two of you grin at each other, then he heads to the living room as you begin to actually sort his clothes. All his scrubs go into a box, which is closed, taped, labeled, and pushed towards the bedroom door. His shoes get the same treatment. The rest of the clothes get sorted into pajamas, casual, stripper work, hospital work, and too many holes to count. You scoop the last pile up and carry it out of the way, before returning to fold and pack and shove the clothes into the suitcases. You grab one more box for the knickknacks scattered around and mementos shoved in the corners of the closet.

Eventually you have nothing left to pack, and Julian has no boxes left to carry down.

"So what are you doing with the furniture again?"

~~~

"That was the last one, right?"

You rest your hands on your knees, panting, as you look at the apartment's worth of furniture sitting on the side of the road.

"Just one more detail." Julian's tongue sticks out as he writes the last details on a notebook. He turns it around, presenting it to you, before setting it on the couch. 

_Free to ~~good~~ home_

The two of you walk towards his car. Malak stares at you from the passenger window, squawking at you through the glass. The car is packed full of his belongings, and it finally hits you that he's actually leaving. Right now. There's no prepping or planning left. It's just him leaving. And not coming back that night. Or the next night. You grab his hand and stop in your tracks.

He turns to look at you. "Did I leave something in the apartment?"

You look up at him, and are finally pushed past the breaking point. Tears start to roll down your face before it's buried in his chest, hands bunching up the back of his shirt. Julian freezes for a moment, before hugging you back, pressing his face into the top of your head.

The two of you stand there, trying to make the two of you occupy the space of one person, until the two of you lean back at the same time. You wipe at your face.

"Drive safe."

Julian sniffles. "I'll text you when I get there."

He clambers into his car, calming Malak down before pulling out of the lot and driving down the road. You watch him drive away, before heading back inside the building. You drop the envelope with the keys in the office mail slot. You make your way up the stairs, your steps echoing in the stairwell.

The hallway feels quieter as you open your door. Before you head in, you look to the door across the hall, feeling the yawning emptiness closed away behind the door. You quickly close your door, and head to your room. Dragon pokes her head up from the back of the couch as you walk past, mrrting in confusion.

You collapse on your bed, curling up on top of Julian's old clothes. A shirt presses against your face.

"I'll miss you."


	5. Tea and Pumpkin Bread

There's a knock at your door. You gather your blanket around yourself and stand up from the couch, heading for the door. When you get it unlocked, Asra opens the door, holding a shopping bag.

"It's out of season, but I found someone who was making pumpkin bread. Do you want tea?"

You nod before turning around and shuffling back to the couch. Asra heads for the kitchen, and you hear the bag settle on the counter, the cabinets open and close. Dragon hops onto the couch next to you, trying to find your lap in the mess of blankets.

The microwave beeps, and Asra appears in front of you with a mug of tea and a plate of bread. You take the tea with both hands, and he sets the plate on the table before sitting down next to you. You take a sipnof the tea, and a small smile escapes. It's your favorite, of course he'd bring your favorite.

Asra clears his throat, and you look to him, the mass of blankets shifting with you.

"So I guess this is why you wanted to hang out today?"

You feel a tendril of guilt wrap around your neck. "I'm just feeling extra lonely today. Is that okay?"

Asra smiles at you. "That's fine. And if you want to talk about why, you can, but otherwise I'll do my best to distract you."

"Thanks."

~~~

"Wait, you two were...?"

Asra blinks at you in confusion. Your laptop is sitting on the table, paused on some Netflix show you've already forgotten the name of.

"Yeah. It was the day before his teacher called about his placement." You wipe at the dried tears on your cheek, finally having a moment after telling Asra everything you had felt towards Julian in the past year.

He stares over your shoulder, before bringing his gaze back to you.

"Are you two... even really together?"

You bark out an unexpected laugh. "He already tried breaking up with me when he wouldn't tell me what was going on, I'm fairly certain we're together."

"Fair enough, but do you think this counts? Like you said, he's four hours away and at work more often than not. Can you even hold up a relationship with those obstacles?"

Asra gives you a heavy look, but you don't hesitate to answer.

"For him? Anything."

Dragon meows in agreement from the back of the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm doing asra right, feedback would be nice. He's gonna pop up more and I haven't wrestled with his character as much, but still want to do it justice


	6. Hangry

You're curled up on your couch, your laptop precariously balanced on you as you laugh at Julian's tales from the day. You take another sip from you mug as Julian continues his antics.

"The patient's mother was red in the face when I told her that I couldn't tell her the details of what was going on with her daughter, but I doubt she wanted to know she had a toy car in her."

"That's what she got stuck?!"

"She claimed the kid she was babysitting did it while she accidently fell asleep."

The twist in his mouth at this _completely believable_ explanation makes you splutter. You set your mug down and hold your laptop as you start laughing

"I just- what the- why would-" You can't get words out between the laughter, bent over your computer screen. In one of the moments you gap for more air, your stomach growls. Loudly.

There's a moment of silence, until Julian's voice comes out of the speakers.

"What have you eaten today?"

You lean back, pick up your mug, and sip from it, looking away from your screen.

"Have you eaten today?"

You keep drinking from your mug, looking at Julian out of the corner of your eye.

"Hangry?"

"I'm not hangry," you mutter from behind your mug. Somehow, your mic picks up on it.

Julian leans forward on your screen. "Sooo, what have you eaten today?"

"Nunya," you mutter again.

"Well I don't know what food category nunya would belong to, so what toppings do you want on your pizza?"

You pull the mug away from your face. "Don't you dare."

"Peperoni with a stuffed crust? You liked that last time."

"Put your phone down, I don't need food."

Julian stands up and steps away from his laptop, but you can see his legs as he paces around his living room. "Yes, Papa Johns? I'd like to place a delivery order."

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, DON'T LET HIM BUY A PIZZA!"

"-ment 503, there's no key for the building. You do card payment over the phone, right?"

"Did you MUTE ME?" You begin typing furiously.

"In about twenty minutes? That'll work, thank you so much."

After a moment, you hear him talking to you again. "I tipped the guy, so don't worry about having cash on you."

"What's your new address again?"

You type up the address he gives you, then click back to the skype window.

"Cool, yours should show up about the same time mine will." You smile at the shocked look on his face.

"WHAT?"

"Well, if you don't want pizza I guess you could give it to Mazelinka. Does she like mushrooms as much as you do? Or, well, if you already ate you could just fridge it for day old pizza."

Julian points at you through the camera. "Don't make fun of day old pizza. It's the second best way to eat pizza."

You laugh, and you can see Julian's shoulders start to shake. It doesn't take long for him to break, and the two of you laugh at each other through the computer screen.

"I miss you." You tap your knuckle on the image of his face.

"I miss you too." You think he does the same.


	7. Car Keys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been motivated! Hopefully it will stay around for a while.

You start gathering up your trash, grabbing some from Julian's side of the table. He snags his cup back from you, heading over for one more refill of sweet tea. As you line up with him, you bump his hip and wrap an arm around him. "I'm glad I got to visit for a day."

Julian presses a kiss to your temple as he snaps the lid on his cup. "Me too. When does your bus leave?"

"In about two hours. And yes, I'm fine just sitting at the station since you have to work."

"I know, I know. I'll go ahead and drop you off then."

The two of you head out the door, Julian digging around his jacket pocket. You split off and head to the passenger door as he checks his jeans pockets. Julian starts spinning in circles on the other side of the car. You duck down and look in the car window.

"Uhh, Jules?"

You see his legs stop spinning. "Yeah dear?"

"I see your keys."

Julian's hands splay on the window across from you as his forehead presses into it.

"Shit."

He pulls away from the car and starts to pace in the lot. "I don't have time to wait for a mechanic, it would break my budget for the month, I need to get to the hospital . . . "

You walk around to his side of the car and lean against the door, looking down at your phone. After a moment, you walk over and show the screen to him.

"There's a bus coming to the stop two blocks away in ten minutes, it'll take you straight to the hospital, probably 5 minutes late at worst."

He squints at the screen, his brow furrowing as he reads the public transit map. "But your bus . . . "

"Is in two hours. I can take a later bus and maybe I'll figure out a way to get your keys out before it comes."

Julian turns and rests his hands on your shoulders, then presses his forehead to yours. "I'm sorry your trip ended so badly. I'll try to make the next one better."

"It's not your fault, Julian," You tilt your head up and give him a light kiss. "Now go catch the bus. If I get the keys out I'll drop them at a reception desk for you."

He kisses you one more time, slowly backs away, and heads for the bus stop.

~~~ One Hour Later ~~~

People had been sympathetic, had laughed, had straight up ignored you as you messed and fiddled with the handle and window on the door. At least one of them had been nice enough to leave a wire coat hanger with you. You take a break, turning away from the problem to check the bus schedule again. There's only 15 minutes left to still have time to drop the key off and not miss the bus back to town. You sigh, sliding down the side of the car to the ground.

"Car trouble?"

You look up to see an older lady looking down at you, a gap-tooth smile on her face. 

"Sadly." You stand up and dust your hands off, pocketing your phone. "My boyfriend locked his keys in and had to hurry to work. I was hoping I could get them out and drop them off before I leave, but no luck." You go back to fiddling with the door, and feel the frustration building at the base of your neck.

"That's not the right way to break into the car, you know, yes?"

"And I guess you know better?"

"Yes."

She holds her hand out expectantly. It takes you a moment to realize she wants the coat hanger. Once you hand it over, she inspects it, turning different parts a little this way and a little the other. She harrumphs, then holds it back out to you.

"I will cover my own ass, I will show you how to do."

"Okay . . . "

"Slide the hook down between the window and the door. Make sure is all the way down. Now, twist this way, and when you lift, pull on handle, and done."

The door swings open, and you lean in and grab the keys off the seat. "Oh my god thank you! How did you know how to do that?"

"I've served my time, now don't miss your bus."

As you run off to the bus stop, Mazelinka shakes her head before turning around and heading into the restaurant. "Well at least bird boy has some sense."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These events are based on my roommate. Only he didn't know the little old lady that magically helped him with his truck.


	8. Sour Leaves

Asra sets your mug of tea on the table in front of you before joining you on your couch. Netflix plays in the background as you cuddle with Dragon, watching Asra out of the corner of your eye. He stays on the edge of the couch and sips from his mug. You didn't invite him over, he just showed up at your door, again. The silence is a curtain between the two of you, but you can't find it in yourself to make it familiar. He must have thought showing up would make it like you were kids again, no notice but a smile and new snacks to win you over.

"Are you still holding in there?"

You curl up tighter on the couch, grimacing down at Dragon. Of course that's why he came over.

"Yeah, I'm fine." 

You hear him shift, turning towards you. "Are you sure? You haven't been acting normal," he presses.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

He sighs, and leans back into the couch. "I just don't understand why you're hurting yourself like this," he mutters, before he goes back to sipping his tea.

You ignore his comment and reach for the tea. Dragon sniffs at it and hops down from the couch, trotting out of sight. The show you've seen before drones on in front of you, a breeze comes through the window and rustles some leaves. The episode ends, and the remains of your tea are cold. You sit up straight, stretching out your limbs as the credits roll.

"Well, I do have plans for today, so I'll have to cut your visit short." You pluck his mug off the table and carry it into the kitchen. "Call ahead next time so I can fit you in?"

You hear him gather his things as you focus on washing the mugs. His footsteps stop behind you as you meticulously dry the mugs and gently put them away.

"Why won't you break up with him?"

"We're not having this conversation, Asra."

"But all you do is go to work, mope around, and wait for him to call!"

You turn to face him, your hands shaking at your sides. "I said we're not talking about this." The ice in your voice startles him, but the concern doesn't leave his face.

"I'm just saying-"

"Don't." You brush past him and head for the door.

He follows and starts to head out.

"He deserves happiness, but don't you?"

He winces as the door slams behind him.


	9. Smooth as Silk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload as a thank you for your patience

You give up rifling through your kitchen drawer, closing it as you whine, "Dragon, why did you use up all the spoons? I want ice cream!"

She chirrups at you from the doorway.

"Don't backtalk me, just clean your spoons!" You fish one out of the sink and scrub it, drying it off with your thumb. Dragon mrows, and you hear her bolt for the other room as your laptop starts ringing.

"Shitshitdamnshit-" You yank open the freezer and snatch your ice cream before making a mad dash to the living room. Dragon hops out of the way as you launch yourself on to the couch. You position your laptop and ice cream as Dragon climbs up next to you, then you pick up the call.

"Yes Malak, yes I-Ouch! That was skin! We agreed hair only!"

Julian doesn't realize at first that you've picked up, but through your giggling you see him beaming at you.

"So, how's the most wonderful person in the world doing today?"

"I dunno, how _are_ you doing today?"

Julian coughs on his drink, eyes wide as he clears his throat. "I'm fine." His voice cracks, and you start giggling again as Malak pecks at his ears from his perch in Julian's head.

"We agreed!"

Dragon jumps off the couch as you burst out laughing, meowing indignantly at you. Slowly you calm down and settle back, opening your ice cream. 

"But really, how was your day?"

The evening breeze helps your plants breathe, and you breathe easy with them for now.


	10. Empty Space

Julian drops his bag the moment the door shuts behind him. Malak sqwacks from his perch but settles back down. He leans against the door and runs his hands down his face. He breathes for a moment, hot air pressing against his palms.

Eventually, he pushes himself off the door and heads to the bathroom. Steam rises over the curtain as he prepares the shower. He pushes himself through the motions.

Malak's caw pulls him out of his trance. The cold water stings as he clambers out and turns the water off. Malak caws at him again, pecking at him from the sink.

"I know, I know," Julian dries off and offers his arm to Malak. He clambers on and climbs up to his shoulder, carding his beak through his hair.

"That tickles," Julian softly protests as he heads for the bedroom. Malak caws in his ear once more, before flying to his perch by the bed. Julian digs through the pajama pile at the end of the bed until he finds pants that are clean enough. His foot gets caught in the hole at the knee, but he barely keeps his balance.

He lands on the bed and crawls towards the headboard, curling around a spare pillow. He buries his face into it. Malak caws behind him, but stays on his perch.

"I miss you."


	11. Late Blooms

The first-season gardeners are finally rushing into your department, and in the few moments you have time to think you spend it thanking your boss for listening and scheduling extra help for once. The regulars and veterans had trickled in months ago, when the frost had started melting before brunch. Now it's the mad dash of the first time home owners and soccer moms who waited for school to be out before planning their garden. And with the customers not knowing what they need, and the extra help not knowing the garden center, you got stuck being on the floor.

"What's the difference between perennial and annual?"

"Do I need to put mulch in a raised flowerbed?"

"Do sunflowers grow in constant shade?"

"Don't you have these in a more red red?"

"Does this birdbath match my aura?"

Anyone who would have had a reasonable question took one look at the crowd amassed among the perennials and birdbaths and turned away. You think your break was supposed to be an hour ago, but there's been no stop and you know it would just be worse when you came back. At least the customers aren't circling around you anymore, and this crowd hasn't tapped you on the shoulder or grabbed your arm. Yet.

The crowd starts to thin faster than you thought it would. It takes a few more questions before you spot a mop of white hair by the patio furniture. The crowd keeps thinning, until you realize there's no one to help. The line for the registers winds around the shrubs, and you duck behind the mulch to catch your breath.

"And here I thought you'd be having an easy day." Asra peeks around the corner to check on the line. "I think I bought you ten minutes before more start flooding in."

"Thanks."

You wipe at the sweat on your face, grimacing as you feel the dirt smudge across it. The chatter of people floats in the air.

"I, I'm sorry, about last time."

You keep him pinned in the corner of your eye.

"I just, I'm worried about you. And I'm being too overbearing and preachy and it's not helping but I don't know what else to do."

He sighs, and peaks around the corner again.

"The line is almost gone, but there's no one else I can see yet." He stands up straight and dusts the mulch off of his shoulder. "I'll leave so you can get a real break. Oh," he turns back to look at you, "Faust wants you to visit sometime. She misses you."

Asra leaves through the sliding doors. You head back to work.

"Faust misses me. Yeah, right."


	12. Karaoke

You shake your computer, hoping to break physics in a way that makes Julian's computer move too. Or at least the camera.

"And IIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIII will always, lova YOUUUUEU"

All you can see is the back of his couch and a thin strip of ceiling. Every once in a while, you see him pass behind the couch as he dances along to his own singing.

"Oh, Ophelia, you've been on my mind girl, since the flood." You hear a thud from a dance maneuver you can't see. "Oh, Ophelia, heaven help the fool who falls in love."

Finally, the view whips around to a close-up of his face. He must be sitting on the ground as he looks back at you.

"Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears, I'm here with you, beside you; to guard you, and to guide you."

"Jules, how much did you drink?"

"Enough, now shusshhh, I'm performing."

He pulls away from the camera, but at least now you can keep an eye on him as he dances around.

"And a little help comes in a little glass vile in a gun pressed against your anatomy."

You aren't sure if this medley has a theme past what he can remember at any given moment, but even this drunk he sounds good.

"Let's do the time warp agai-ai-ai-ain"

His dance moves, not so much.

"Jules, please don't punch Malak."

~~~

All your screen shows you is the the top of Julian's head. He had kneeled down in front of the couch again for a serenade, his head listing until it made contact with the cushions. The song had gone on a bit longer, until it was replaced by snores and Malak's caws from somewhere in the room.

"Live in my house, I’ll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses." You run your fingertips along your screen, trying to remember how his hair feels. "Be my lover, I'll cover you."


	13. Snickerdoodles

Faust sticks her nose in your ear. You giggle, before you bring your hand up and guide her back towards your shoulder.

"Yes, I know, I've been neglecting you, my dearest hisspickle."

If your apartment is a forest, Asra's is a jungle. Aquariums and terrariums sprawl across every flat surface, each one with it's own labels covered in names and species and favorite things neatly noted down in case anyone else ever care for them. You gently put Faust back in her own home before wandering the room.

"The tree frogs are new."

"Oh, Casey and Andrew?" Asra calls out to you from the kitchen. "A coworker's niece couldn't care for them anymore so I took them in."

"Well they'll definitely have a happy home here." You peer into a tank on the kitchen counter, a gecko staring back out at you. A brief staring contest ensues, broken by a tray of cookies in your peripheral vision.

"Snickerdoodle, yessss." You push your face closer to the tray and inhale to the bottom of your chest, soaking in the cinnamon sugar.

Asra warns you, "Let them cool-"

"I know, I know, they just smell so good." You lean away and head back to the couch, letting your eyes wander over the reptiles and amphibians and arthropods each tidily put away in their boxes.

"Okay, now your tongue won't fall off." Asra plops down next to you, a plate of cookies in each hand. You take the proffered plate and pick a cookie off of it.

"To eat, or not to-" You shove the whole cookie in your mouth.

After a few more jokes and cookies, you see Asra get that stubborn look in his eye.

"I know you said you don't want to talk about it,"

"Correct."

"And I completely understand if you still don't want to, but I'm willing to just ask questions and listen instead of pressing assumptions like I have been."

You take another cookie and time to think over your options.

"I'm willing to have a conversation if you are. What's your first question?"

"Well, I guess why all around is too broad of a question, but why do you bother when he's so busy and so far away?"

You blink in astonishment, playing with a cookie as you think through your answer. "Because I care about him and we decided to try this together. It's not like I'm pushing a one-sided relationship or he's demanding more from me than I'm willing to give."

"But you're going through all this pain for him, is being in a relationship really worth it?" Asra sets his plate of cookies down on the table, turning to face you.

"If it's him, yes. Or I never would have suggested it to him." 

"It was your idea?" You eat your cookie as he works through his shock. "I can't- Is he really worth that much to you?"

"Of course."

"Because the Julian I know wouldn't be. The only thing he loves more than drama is his own suffering. And he's determined to chase both."

You feel ice creep around you as you stare Asra down. "Then we will have to differ on that point." Asra flinches at the tone of your voice, and leaves the topic alone.

He lets you take the leftover cookies when you leave.


	14. The Plan

You sip at the cooling tea in your hands as you walk around the public garden. It's quiet, most people waiting a few more weeks for the blooms to open. The buds are vibrant, wet from sprinklers fighting the beginning of a drought.

"I don't know why you ask me for advice when you already know what you want to do."

Asra's voice softly cuts through the silence. You take another sip of your tea.

"It's less asking advice and more giving a heads up." Another sip of tea. "It's just working out timing and details at this point."

He stares out at the tangle of green growths, unable to make sense of them. "Well, I can't stop you. Just don't hurt yourself in the process."

"I trust that that's impossible, but thanks."


	15. Come Home

Julian parks his car, slumped in his seat. He plucks his phone out of the seat next to him, reading the last conversation over again. The light from the screen highlights how gaunt his face looks in the darkness of the car.

**Can't wait to see you!**

**\---**

**Julian: me 2, this shift sucks**

**You've stayed up three days on coffee fumes, a 48 hr shift is nothing**

**\---**

**The bus broke down, I don't know if I'll make it in time**

**\---**

**We're stuck for the night, don't try to pick me up at the stop. Get some rest, sorry**

**\---**

**Julian: b safe, keep me updated**

**Only if you rest**

Julian drags a hand down his face, groaning. He stares out the window, a dull ache in his chest drowning out the exhaustion pounding at the back of his eyes. "Why does everything go wrong?"

He snaps back into the moment, hitting his hand on the steering wheel. The car door clicks open, his bag scrapes across the seat. The door slams shut, his bag bounces off the nose of the car. He leans against the door as he fumbles for his keys, finally getting into the apartment.

Dragon meows at him from the back of the couch. Planters litter the windowsills and counters, larger pots tucked into corners of the room. Two suitcases are parked between the bathroom and bedroom doors, a plastic tub labeled "Kitchen" next to them.

Dragon hops down, out of Julian's sight.

"Uff, Sweetie, that huurtss," you sleepily mutter from under the blankets you unpacked.

Julian's bag hits the floor with a thud. You sit up, Dragon hopping off your chest and bolting for the bedroom. Malak caws and follows her.

"Oh, hey, hi, I didn't mean to fall asleep. Oh, okay, we're doing this then." Julian wraps his arms around you and sprawls across your lap, burying his face in your stomach. You run your fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. "I got the transfer for work, they have me starting next week and they'll even pay me more. I can start looking for a place-" Julian shakes his head, still pressed against you. "Or I can stay here, but that's something to talk about after more sleep." Julian nods. "Now while your new couch is super comfy, I think a bed would work better."

Julian pulls away and looks up at you. The warmth and hope and fragility in his face makes your vision blur. You lean down and kiss him. His hands let go of you, one goes to the couch to steady him, the other up to your face to hold you there. You humm against him, gently pulling away.

"This is very nice but I am very very sleepy."

Julian groans but complies, rocking back on his heels as you get up off the couch. He follows you to the bedroom, where you flop onto the bed.

"Mmm, comfy." You get situated under the blanket, then reach out to Julian. "I need the super comf."

He chuckles and leans down next to you. "I've gotta get ungross first."

"Fine."

~~~

Julian runs the towel over his hair one more time before climbing into bed next to you. You're already passed out, one arm stretched actoss his side of the bed. He lifts it and lays down, settling it on top of him. You shift in your sleep, pulling yourself closer to him. He wraps an arm around you, resting his chin on top of your head. Malak sleeps on his perch. Dragon curls up on a pillow.

"Welcome home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Doodlebug for letting me bounce ideas for writing and Handy for being my motivation to actually write.
> 
> And thanks to you for reading


End file.
